The Triune Loop

When you’re a Triune, there always seems to be one part of you that’s under attack. One moment you’re too sensitive, the next you’re too open-minded and utopian – and so you apply logic and reason, but still the world can’t keep up.

Being an empath, or an HSP-empath, you’ll be acutely aware of people’s criticism, even when they keep it to themselves. You pick up what they radiate. But here’s the thing: the real problem with being an unbalanced empath is that ‘conviction convinces’: when an empath listens to other people, we see where they’re coming from; we get them. And if they make their criticism sound like ‘valid points’, we are very likely to own that criticism. Our inner critic actually adopts that negative opinion and uses it against us even when we’re alone!

When you’re a Triune you have three parts that need expressing: your sensitivity, your intelligence and your ‘old soul’. Each one craves meaningful expression, whether through work or interaction. Each part needs to be seen. But most of the world are ‘diunes’: they don’t have three captains; they have but one, two at the most.

And so, looping back to the opening paragraph, there’s always one part of you that feels you’re the odd one out. There’s no ‘true match’ with a diune, because they always leave at least one aspect out of the equation. And you feel the mis-match. Acutely.

An empath tends to be easily motivated by a diune’s idea of what makes ‘sense’ and because conviction convinces we are easily motivated by what works for them. Their perspective always seems logical and sensible and so our head tells us they’re probably making a valid point.

Maybe they’re right!

And you feel yourself sway.

Maybe you should give that a try.
But when they’re no longer around, you come to your own senses; now their truths ring less true and you’re not sure why. Until you realise it’s because they didn’t take ‘that third aspect’ into account – or worse, that aspect was denied –  whichever aspect that was.

So you change your mind. Again. And you conclude ‘they’ are wrong. They must be.

Wait, all of them? How does that make sense? Are you the only one who knows best? Really?

You’re probably not wired to actually believe that, and so you end up losing confidence in yourself, because it doesn’t make sense that you should be the only one who feels things ‘this way’, who sees things ‘this way’.

You must be wrong, somehow.

What you don’t see, is that you’re looking at yourself through diune eyes: ignoring whichever part of you doesn’t fit their narrative.
But… that part will pull you up when you’re almost ready to make a difference — because there is no consensus!

For a triune in a diune world there is never consensus, because one part of you is nearly always under attack and your empath nature will always pick up on that.

And that’s confusing, because it’s not the same part every day… but it’s always one part of you. And the other two automatically band together, because of empathy and ‘diune common sense’.

So you change your mind. Again. And not moving forward becomes your trademark, a pattern you start to see over and over.

You begin to identify with it – until at last it even begins to define you and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to even more criticism: You never see things through. And you know they’re right about that one!

Of course, to make matters worse, you’re smart enough to know how stupid your situation is. You’re smart enough to be utterly frustrated and, worse, to feel a sense of shame: How can you be this stuck?! But in a diune world you’re simply not reflected back as your complete self.

The third element always eludes them – and therefore it eludes empath-you – until you see yourself for who you truly are: a person with not one or even two, but THREE captains.

Imagine three people in a canoe: one on the left and two on the right, each exerting equal force. How can that canoe not be spinning?

This is how you come out of the loop: you must learn to see yourself as a trinity. You must learn to see that when you’re interacting with someone, they’re only relating to 2/3s of you. But you are more.

Remind yourself: “They do not clearly see their own three aspects and so they cannot reflect me back, but I am more than what they see.”

This is the way out of the loop: remembering that you’re a Triune. You’re the exception. Embrace that because you won’t be able to move forward until you balance the paddlers in your canoe.