I’m Dani – and I’m a verbal processor, 🤔

“Your work requires storytelling.”

The other day I was talking to an old peer.
He said: “Your work requires storytelling. Do you tell stories to your people?”
I said: “I waver between saying: ‘never’ and ‘always’.”
He nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I get that. But that’s your tool for communicating. Cos have you got stories to tell!”

And he’s right.
Also, I love sharing stories and insights. But then I never really do.

It’s not that I don’t want to.
It’s not even that I can’t find the time.
It’s because I process while I express.

I process All. The. Time.

Processing, for me, is a 24-7 thing, where every word invariably leads to the next.
And before you know it, a single paragraph has turned into a chapter, and a single story has become a book.

And who has the time to read all that, right?

I try not to ask that of my people.

So then I edit. And I cut stuff out.

Meanwhile, I shift lanes.
Writing is creative, but editing is much more of a cognitive job.
And so I edit the heart and the soul right out of the story.

What’s left may make a lot of sense.
But it’s neither relatable nor attractive.
Not even to me. So I dump the whole thing into the trash can.

And I wish I could now say: “And then I start over!”
But I don’t. Cos whatever I was writing about needed processing.

And when the processing is done, it’s done…

By the time I’ve edited it into nothingness, I’ve done all the processing I needed.
And at that point I’m ready to move on.
So whatever was in that piece for you, you’re never going to read it.
Because I can’t spend my days editing things into bite-size bits.

What I can do, is add a TL;DR at the top. A Too Long; Didn’t Read.

Those typically contain the essence.
And then you decide whether or not you want to delve in.

Just know: there isn’t always a point, 😁

If I have to crystalise the point of every story, then there’s no point in writing it:
Half the time I don’t see the point myself until a few hours later…

Case in point: what I really wanted to say with this piece, is that we all process in different ways.
I process verbally. The other day someone said ‘touch is my love language’.
And that’s really what triggered all this, because I thought: “Hmm… I have two… energy – and insights. Those are my love languages.”

To bridge the gap, I use words.

I don’t do that whole ‘sitting together in silence’-thing so well.
Yeah, maybe on day three.
But I sit in silence the whole merry day.
If you show up in my space, there will be words.
Lots and lots of words. From you to me, from me to you.

So, how does knowing this about me serve you?
It probably doesn’t!
Unless you’re also a verbal processor and you now think: “Huh! So that’s what I do!” Or, conversely, you know me personally, and think: “Huh, so that’s why she never shuts up.” 😆

Clearing this space

But I realised that before I could start sharing my stories with you, I needed to clear this space.

So: Hi, I’m Dani and I’m a verbal processor.

Methodically ordering words helps me recognise the underlying structures and undercurrents. It helps me give meaning to our experience – and it’s how I give meaning back to the world.

And I’ll stop here before this becomes a book.

To be continued, 😉

Much love,

Dani 💕

P.S. I think Wednesdays are a nice day for this… Break the week…

I’m Dani – and I’m a verbal processor, 🤔

“Your work requires storytelling.”

The other day I was talking to an old peer.
He said: “Your work requires storytelling. Do you tell stories to your people?”
I said: “I waver between saying: ‘never’ and ‘always’.” 
He nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I get that. But that’s your tool for communicating. Cos have you got stories to tell!”

And he’s right. 
Also, I love sharing stories and insights. But then I never really do.

It’s not that I don’t want to.
It’s not even that I can’t find the time.
It’s because I process while I express.

I process All. The. Time.

Processing, for me, is a 24-7 thing, where every word invariably leads to the next.
And before you know it, a single paragraph has turned into a chapter, and a single story has become a book.

And who has the time to read all that, right?

I try not to ask that of my people.

So then I edit. And I cut stuff out.

Meanwhile, I shift lanes.
Writing is creative, but editing is much more of a cognitive job.
And so I edit the heart and the soul right out of the story.

What’s left may make a lot of sense.
But it’s neither relatable nor attractive.
Not even to me. So I dump the whole thing into the trash can.

And I wish I could now say: “And then I start over!”
But I don’t. Cos whatever I was writing about needed processing.

And when the processing is done, it’s done…

By the time I’ve edited it into nothingness, I’ve done all the processing I needed.
And at that point I’m ready to move on.
So whatever was in that piece for you, you’re never going to read it.
Because I can’t spend my days editing things into bite-size bits.

What I can do, is add a TL;DR at the top. A Too Long; Didn’t Read.

Those typically contain the essence.
And then you decide whether or not you want to delve in.

Just know: there isn’t always a point, 😁

If I have to crystalise the point of every story, then there’s no point in writing it:
Half the time I don’t see the point myself until a few hours later…

Case in point: what I really wanted to say with this piece, is that we all process in different ways.
I process verbally. The other day someone said ‘touch is my love language’.
And that’s really what triggered all this, because I thought: “Hmm… I have two… energy – and insights. Those are my love languages.”

To bridge the gap, I use words.

I don’t do that whole ‘sitting together in silence’-thing so well.
Yeah, maybe on day three.
But I sit in silence the whole merry day.
If you show up in my space, there will be words.
Lots and lots of words. From you to me, from me to you.

So, how does knowing this about me serve you?
It probably doesn’t!
Unless you’re also a verbal processor and you now think: “Huh! So that’s what I do!” Or, conversely, you know me personally, and think: “Huh, so that’s why she never shuts up.” 😆

Clearing this space

But I realised that before I could start sharing my stories with you, I needed to clear this space.

So: Hi, I’m Dani and I’m a verbal processor.

Methodically ordering words helps me recognise the underlying structures and undercurrents. It helps me give meaning to our experience – and it’s how I give meaning back to the world.

And I’ll stop here before this becomes a book.

To be continued, 😉

much love,

Dani 💕

P.S. I think Wednesdays are a nice day for this… Break the week…