Meet Dani

Meet Dani

Hi! So nice of you to come check me out.

Full disclosure: every time I write this page I lose myself trying to answer this question: Why did you come?

Do you want to read about who I am; or how I might help you; or do you want to know what my spirituality is like?

So I thought I’d provide you with some links right here in this introduction, and then you can choose for yourself. But if you want to know about me, then scroll down to the next block, for some ‘Dani Unplugged’.

So, quick intro.

Hi! I’m Danielle Brouwer and I’m on a mission to share what I know and to share my understanding of manifesting. If you’re interested in my spiritual perspective, have a look at my Mission page.

But I’m also a Triune, with three highly engaged Selves: I am a deep-thinking spiritual HSP-Empath. If you want to know how my Triune Nature affects me personally, check out this page. Or maybe you just want to understand the concept itself and get clear on the terminology. In that case, check out this page, where I put the Triune on the map; it comes with a glossary.

I’m not your average coach or healer and I share my perspective in such a way that it helps other deep-thinking spiritual HSP-empaths to come unstuck and get aligned with their dreams. Here’s how you can work with me (spoiler alert: I have a Hotline and there’s a membership coming up. I also wrote a book on Manifesting and I give trainings on the subject).

On these About-pages I present as a Triune, and I address Triunes, because I believe the concept needs to be put on the map.

Right off the bat, though: my work isn’t just for Triunes. If you identify as a spiritual HSP-Empath who wants to get a grip on her life, then I can help you, independent of how much your mental aspect tries to pull you the other way. Because being a Triune means just that: having an aspect with needs that can feel completely opposed to the needs of your spiritual and sensory self.

Hi! So nice of you to come check me out.

Full disclosure: every time I write this page I lose myself trying to answer this question: Why did you come?

Do you want to read about who I am; or how I might help you; or do you want to know what my spirituality is like?

So I thought I’d provide you with some links right here in this introduction, and then you can choose for yourself. But if you want to know about me, then scroll down to the next block, for some ‘Dani Unplugged’.

So, quick intro.

Hi! I’m Danielle Brouwer and I’m on a mission to share what I know and to share my understanding of manifesting. If you’re interested in my spiritual perspective, have a look at my Mission page.

But I’m also a Triune, with three highly engaged Selves: I am a deep-thinking spiritual HSP-Empath. If you want to know how my Triune Nature affects me personally, check out this page. Or maybe you just want to understand the concept itself and get clear on the terminology. In that case, check out this page, where I put the Triune on the map; it comes with a glossary.

I’m not your average coach or healer and I share my perspective in such a way that it helps other deep-thinking spiritual HSP-empaths to come unstuck and get aligned with their dreams. Here’s how you can work with me (spoiler alert: I have a Hotline and there’s a membership coming up. I also wrote a book on Manifesting and I give trainings on the subject).

On these About-pages I present as a Triune, and I address Triunes, because I believe the concept needs to be put on the map.

Right off the bat, though: my work isn’t just for Triunes. If you identify as a spiritual HSP-Empath who wants to get a grip on her life, then I can help you, independent of how much your mental aspect tries to pull you the other way. Because being a Triune means just that: having an aspect with needs that can feel completely opposed to the needs of your spiritual and sensory self.

Hi! So nice of you to come check me out.

Full disclosure: every time I write this page I lose myself trying to answer this question: Why did you come?

Do you want to read about who I am; or how I might help you; or do you want to know what my spirituality is like?

So I thought I’d provide you with some links right here in this introduction, and then you can choose for yourself. But if you want to know about me, then scroll down to the next block, for some ‘Dani Unplugged’.

So, quick intro.

Hi! I’m Danielle Brouwer and I’m on a mission to share what I know and to share my understanding of manifesting. If you’re interested in my spiritual perspective, have a look at my Mission page.

But I’m also a Triune, with three highly engaged Selves: I am a deep-thinking spiritual HSP-Empath. If you want to know how my Triune Nature affects me personally, check out this page. Or maybe you just want to understand the concept itself and get clear on the terminology. In that case, check out this page, where I put the Triune on the map; it comes with a glossary.

I’m not your average coach or healer and I share my perspective in such a way that it helps other deep-thinking spiritual HSP-empaths to come unstuck and get aligned with their dreams. Here’s how you can work with me (spoiler alert: I have a Hotline and there’s a membership coming up. I also wrote a book on Manifesting and I give trainings on the subject).

On these About-pages I present as a Triune, and I address Triunes, because I believe the concept needs to be put on the map.

Right off the bat, though: my work isn’t just for Triunes. If you identify as a spiritual HSP-Empath who wants to get a grip on her life, then I can help you, independent of how much your mental aspect tries to pull you the other way. Because being a Triune means just that: having an aspect with needs that can feel completely opposed to the needs of your spiritual and sensory self.

Cool! You’re still here.

Nice!

Then let’s unplug, and let me share some stuff that doesn’t normally come up in your average conversation, about the path I walk.

Dani Unplugged

In a previous lifetime I studied Business Management in The Hague, and I spent a number of years working in a hotel in London. After that I had a retail store in a tiny village in the South of Spain. Then, in the year of my thirtieth birthday, my life went to pieces, and after a year or so this life began. Slowly, very slowly.

Now I’m a Triune. And a Dream Weaver.

I believe in accountability, in giving things my best shot, and I hold my thoughts and beliefs up against the light at every opportunity.

And I walk my talk.

 

And that’s what I’ll be talking about here.

Cos here’s the thing: to walk your talk you need to know who you are and what you hold true.

But… to be able to know and embrace who you are, it helps to see yourself reflected in the outside world.

For spiritual HSP-Empaths that doesn’t typically happen.

For Triunes even less.

 

A Triune is a highly sensitive and empathic person; a deep thinker who is spiritually open, and who is equally informed by all of her awareness levels.

Wonderful, right?

We must be so empowered!

Surely we have our lives totally on track!

How can we not?

Yay us, right?

Right??

 

Meh…

Cos here’s the thing… most empaths have deep wounds. And the first thing a wounded empath does, is give away her power.

I know I did.

All. the. time.

Picking up so clearly on everyone’s needs, I spent my time cleaning up after everyone – and my own dreams kept being pushed to the end of the queue.

But because of my talents (thinking things through, for starters), I could see just why people were in the mess they were in – and so I would actively try to fend things off on their behalf, because hey, I could just see the accidents waiting to happen.

 

It takes time to learn you can’t learn someone’s lesson for them…

But I got there eventually.

But until I did, I was focused on their needs, rather than my own.

I didn’t really feel I had a choice, because I perceived their pain as mine. Their discomfort was my discomfort, and their priorities were my priorities.

That’s the plight of the wounded empath.

 

I still feel the pain and the discomfort of others, and I still get triggered into wanting to solve it for them, but like I said: I can’t learn anyone’s lesson for them.

 

Things began to change for me once I began to understand myself, once I realised why I was ‘this wounded’. This began with Irene Lyon, and her work on the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). But while her work resonated deeply, I resisted the idea that I might be traumatised.

Sure, my parents had dropped the ball, but no more than most. I was just more sensitive than others, I told myself, and I probably just took the hits harder. In fact, when my mom shut down my childhood spirituality as ‘naive nonsense’, she did nothing other moms wouldn’t have done in those days. But 7-yo me internalised her response and it shut me down.

Being a Triune, having three extremely engaged awareness levels, meant that there were lots of ways in which a little HSP-Empath could be shut down.

And people did. Unwittingly, inadvertently – and incessantly.

 

But was I traumatised? Nooooo, of course not!!

My adult rational mind just wouldn’t go there.

Dysregulated, maybe. A bit. But not traumatised.

 

But from Irene Lyon I learned that the ANS can also end up severely dysregulated through surgeries, or medical mishaps – and that had definitely happened to me.

This allowed me to connect with the idea that, perhaps, I wás traumatised. You know, a little.

 

You can’t heal what you’re not looking at. And now that I began to see this wounded part of me, I could put down the whip.

But here’s the thing: what I’m effectively saying is that, until I got off my own case, I was constantly holding a whip.

Cos I was constantly falling short. On all levels.

 

Once I began to regulate my ANS, I could see the incongruity of a lot of things. First and foremost: my complete and utter lack of boundaries in every conceivable way. I also invariably put myself right in the middle of other people’s struggles (and as a result, I would often get implicated in the struggle, or even blamed for it).

The number of times I’ve put myself in the direct trajectory of ‘the accident waiting to happen’ is baffling to me in hindsight. But there you go.

 

Once I began putting down the whip, I could see myself in a new light. And for the first time I began to appreciate my sensitivity and my empathy; and I began to appreciate my extreme spiritual awareness – which had played a big role in my life for years, but which had also seemed to be at the root of my isolation, cos it’s just hard being the psychedelic sheep of the family.

But that’s not actually true. It’s not all that hard. All it takes is for you to own it for yourself. Because conviction convinces.

But that’s just it: I wasn’t convinced. I didn’t own that part of me.

And so others pushed back, trying to get me to conform. And empath-me felt their conviction and wavered all the more. “Because, really, how can someone as bright and intelligent as you are have such far-fetched ideas! Just get back to the work force and find a real job already!”

 

I began to appreciate my ‘extreme’ aspects, but my mind still said, “That’s all very well, but I’m not telling anyone about your notions. Just because you ‘know’ that the universe works ‘this way’, doesn’t mean that Í buy into it!” Yep, my own mind said that.

But my mind actually had a very valid point. It’s not that she was right in ‘not believing’, but she was right in refusing to talk about things she couldn’t fully hold true.

That’s when I realised that, as long as she couldn’t answer people’s questions and bring things ‘full circle’, I had no business talking about what I knew – because I just kept getting hurt.

 

So we (my three selves and I) explored the universe from a new perspective: that of understanding. And my mental aspect got to be as geeky as she wanted, diving in – tunnelling in, even, to the point of losing sight of the exit – until one day she connected the dots. “I get it now. And I see how, from here on in, I can understand all of it. Go ahead.”

 

What that taught me, apart from how manifesting works, was ‘dynamics’. The dynamics of belief systems and the dynamics of relationships.

It also showed me my inner Trinity and how they interacted. I began to clearly see and understand -and appreciate!- my three selves -and their needs- and I realised that having three such highly engaged selves had been the root cause of my biggest struggle all those years.

Or perhaps I should say: not having anyone acknowledge my struggle, not having anyone in my corner, helping me see what I was up against, is what most set me back all those years.

Because all I got was push back. And the empath in me aligned with the conviction behind that push back; so I tried to pursue solutions that worked for others — but which could never work for me, not even if I tried harder.

 

I had no idea who I was, because no one reflected me back, and when I said, ‘I feel different’, others would say, ‘Everyone feels different!’

And this is true. Everyone is different. No one has your unique combination of thoughts, hopes, beliefs, past experiences and current expectations. Absolutely no one.

But saying ‘Everyone feels different’ is like saying ‘All lives matter’. It is true, but it misses the point. And it misses the point in a way that deepens the wound.

Every time someone says, ‘Everyone feels different’ to someone who is, demonstrably, wired differently from nearly everyone else, that atypical person goes unacknowledged.

And I’m not talking about the HSP 1 in 5; I’m talking about the extreme-HSP, Hi IQ, Hi Empath 1 in 2.000+.

 

And I really did feel different.

To the point where I felt like I was two people.

And my sense of conflict was immediate and acute every. single. day.

 

And nobody reflected that back to me.

In fact, when I talked about it, empath-me could feel where their thoughts were headed: ‘Hm, schizo much?’

So I learned not to talk about it.

Everybody has doubts,” they would say.

No.

The doubt others had wasn’t the crippling doubt I had.

And their solutions didn’t work for me.

But even people whose job it was to hear me, didn’t hear me.

 

So in the end I figured it out for myself. I began to implement specific dynamics and I began to implement the truths that I had found regarding those dynamics, and I began to see their effect on manifesting.

And over the next few years, things started to slide into place. Things began to make sense from all angles, for all parts of me.

And the second-guessing stopped.

And the doubts fell away.

 

Sure, I still have doubts. All the time. But they’re no longer crippling doubts of the ‘Damned if you do, damned if you don’t’-variety.

Slowly they morphed into the realisation that it could also be ‘Blessed if you do, blessed if you don’t, just play with it,’-variety.

 

Needless to say, life’s a lot easier these days. But, thanks to my strong rational aspect, I was aware – all the time – of what was changing and why.

I didn’t just ‘shift — and then everything was better, just trust the process, you’ll be fine!’ — which could have absolutely worked (for those other 1.999).

Instead, I kept track. I analysed and assessed: Wtf just happened here? Why did that happen? How come ‘this’? Also, if ‘that’, then why not ‘so’?

 

I stopped digging in, and I started tunnelling out, but I never stopped analysing and assessing, I just changed the energy behind it to ‘finding’ rather than ‘seeking’.

In the Dutch language, when you don’t see your car keys, you say, ‘Help me search for them’. In the English language, you say, ‘Help me find them’.

Huge difference! You can seek answers from now until eternity, but it’s finding them that matters.

 

And that’s what I do.

All the time.

I find answers.

Mostly to questions other people don’t seem to have. Which never ceases to surprise me.

 

When they do ask the question, and they find I have the answer, they are equally surprised. Like, ‘How did you know?’

And then I think: ‘Because most things are actually self-evident.’

Which isn’t entirely fair. Difficult mathematical equations may be self-evident to a savant, or to the gifted professor who made it his business to understand, but that doesn’t mean they’re self-evident to a pre-schooler, or even to the college grad who hopes never to look at maths again.

But most manifesting dynamics are self-evident to me.

Because of the underlying energetic cause and effect.

And since I use my sensitivity and empathy to assess that underlying energy, and I then extrapolate my findings based on my intuition, the resulting effect does mostly seem pretty self-evident to me.

 

Of course, when you can see the dynamics of cause and effect, you effectively see manifesting-as-it-happens.

Which is how I experience life.

I see the energies at work, and I see where the potentialities get cut off – and why.

 

I also see what’s required to adjust.

And that is where the work is.

For you, for me, for anyone, that’s where the work is: to deliberately adjust the energy behind your manifesting.

I’m still learning how to do that. Still unlearning a lifetime of conditioning.
But at this point I’ve got a lot of it, maybe even most of it sussed.

I’ve come a long way, but then, I had a long way to go.
Or at least, that’s what it felt like, because the path wasn’t there.

And now it is. My path is clear to me.
It’s not a path that is visible – but I nevertheless see it clearly.

Like the vague trail in a field left by the wind, it’s a multitude of potentials, and I walk it by being clear in my expectations.

I know what I want and I walk in that direction.

 

And no, it doesn’t constantly work out in every detail. Of course not. But I can typically see which underlying dynamic -or rather, expectation- needs tweaking to improve things.

And then I set about doing so.

Or not. I mean, at the end of the day it has to be effective and a lot of it really isn’t.

 

Where manifesting is concerned, the question is always: what will you focus on? And there’s an endless variety. Also, as Abraham-Hicks says: you’ll never get it done.
I used to think: ‘Just you wait and see!’ But these days I feel there’s freedom in that statement: “I’ll never get it done? Awesome! Then I’ll let go of ‘this’, and instead I’ll focus on ‘that’.”

 

There is one question to which the answer has so far eluded me, though.

When people ask me, “So what is it you do?”

There just never seems to be a straightforward answer to that one, 😁.

Or maybe there is:

I find answers.

Cool! You’re still here.

Nice!

Then let’s unplug, and let me share some stuff that doesn’t normally come up in your average conversation, about the path I walk.

Dani Unplugged

In a previous lifetime I studied Business Management in The Hague, and I spent a number of years working in a hotel in London. After that I had a retail store in a tiny village in the South of Spain. Then, in the year of my thirtieth birthday, my life went to pieces, and after a year or so this life began. Slowly, very slowly.

Now I’m a Triune. And a Dream Weaver.

I believe in accountability, in giving things my best shot, and I hold my thoughts and beliefs up against the light at every opportunity.

And I walk my talk.

 

And that’s what I’ll be talking about here.

Cos here’s the thing: to walk your talk you need to know who you are and what you hold true.

But… to be able to know and embrace who you are, it helps to see yourself reflected in the outside world.

For spiritual HSP-Empaths that doesn’t typically happen.

For Triunes even less.

 

A Triune is a highly sensitive and empathic person; a deep thinker who is spiritually open, and who is equally informed by all of her awareness levels.

Wonderful, right?

We must be so empowered!

Surely we have our lives totally on track!

How can we not?

Yay us, right?

Right??

 

Meh…

Cos here’s the thing… most empaths have deep wounds. And the first thing a wounded empath does, is give away her power.

I know I did.

All. the. time.

Picking up so clearly on everyone’s needs, I spent my time cleaning up after everyone – and my own dreams kept being pushed to the end of the queue.

But because of my talents (thinking things through, for starters), I could see just why people were in the mess they were in – and so I would actively try to fend things off on their behalf, because hey, I could just see the accidents waiting to happen.

 

It takes time to learn you can’t learn someone’s lesson for them…

But I got there eventually.

But until I did, I was focused on their needs, rather than my own.

I didn’t really feel I had a choice, because I perceived their pain as mine. Their discomfort was my discomfort, and their priorities were my priorities.

That’s the plight of the wounded empath.

 

I still feel the pain and the discomfort of others, and I still get triggered into wanting to solve it for them, but like I said: I can’t learn anyone’s lesson for them.

 

Things began to change for me once I began to understand myself, once I realised why I was ‘this wounded’. This began with Irene Lyon, and her work on the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). But while her work resonated deeply, I resisted the idea that I might be traumatised.

Sure, my parents had dropped the ball, but no more than most. I was just more sensitive than others, I told myself, and I probably just took the hits harder. In fact, when my mom shut down my childhood spirituality as ‘naive nonsense’, she did nothing other moms wouldn’t have done in those days. But 7-yo me internalised her response and it shut me down.

Being a Triune, having three extremely engaged awareness levels, meant that there were lots of ways in which a little HSP-Empath could be shut down.

And people did. Unwittingly, inadvertently – and incessantly.

 

But was I traumatised? Nooooo, of course not!!

My adult rational mind just wouldn’t go there.

Dysregulated, maybe. A bit. But not traumatised.

 

But from Irene Lyon I learned that the ANS can also end up severely dysregulated through surgeries, or medical mishaps – and that had definitely happened to me.

This allowed me to connect with the idea that, perhaps, I wás traumatised. You know, a little.

 

You can’t heal what you’re not looking at. And now that I began to see this wounded part of me, I could put down the whip.

But here’s the thing: what I’m effectively saying is that, until I got off my own case, I was constantly holding a whip.

Cos I was constantly falling short. On all levels.

 

Once I began to regulate my ANS, I could see the incongruity of a lot of things. First and foremost: my complete and utter lack of boundaries in every conceivable way. I also invariably put myself right in the middle of other people’s struggles (and as a result, I would often get implicated in the struggle, or even blamed for it).

The number of times I’ve put myself in the direct trajectory of ‘the accident waiting to happen’ is baffling to me in hindsight. But there you go.

 

Once I began putting down the whip, I could see myself in a new light. And for the first time I began to appreciate my sensitivity and my empathy; and I began to appreciate my extreme spiritual awareness – which had played a big role in my life for years, but which had also seemed to be at the root of my isolation, cos it’s just hard being the psychedelic sheep of the family.

But that’s not actually true. It’s not all that hard. All it takes is for you to own it for yourself. Because conviction convinces.

But that’s just it: I wasn’t convinced. I didn’t own that part of me.

And so others pushed back, trying to get me to conform. And empath-me felt their conviction and wavered all the more. “Because, really, how can someone as bright and intelligent as you are have such far-fetched ideas! Just get back to the work force and find a real job already!”

 

I began to appreciate my ‘extreme’ aspects, but my mind still said, “That’s all very well, but I’m not telling anyone about your notions. Just because you ‘know’ that the universe works ‘this way’, doesn’t mean that Í buy into it!” Yep, my own mind said that.

But my mind actually had a very valid point. It’s not that she was right in ‘not believing’, but she was right in refusing to talk about things she couldn’t fully hold true.

That’s when I realised that, as long as she couldn’t answer people’s questions and bring things ‘full circle’, I had no business talking about what I knew – because I just kept getting hurt.

 

So we (my three selves and I) explored the universe from a new perspective: that of understanding. And my mental aspect got to be as geeky as she wanted, diving in – tunnelling in, even, to the point of losing sight of the exit – until one day she connected the dots. “I get it now. And I see how, from here on in, I can understand all of it. Go ahead.”

 

What that taught me, apart from how manifesting works, was ‘dynamics’. The dynamics of belief systems and the dynamics of relationships.

It also showed me my inner Trinity and how they interacted. I began to clearly see and understand -and appreciate!- my three selves -and their needs- and I realised that having three such highly engaged selves had been the root cause of my biggest struggle all those years.

Or perhaps I should say: not having anyone acknowledge my struggle, not having anyone in my corner, helping me see what I was up against, is what most set me back all those years.

Because all I got was push back. And the empath in me aligned with the conviction behind that push back; so I tried to pursue solutions that worked for others — but which could never work for me, not even if I tried harder.

 

I had no idea who I was, because no one reflected me back, and when I said, ‘I feel different’, others would say, ‘Everyone feels different!’

And this is true. Everyone is different. No one has your unique combination of thoughts, hopes, beliefs, past experiences and current expectations. Absolutely no one.

But saying ‘Everyone feels different’ is like saying ‘All lives matter’. It is true, but it misses the point. And it misses the point in a way that deepens the wound.

Every time someone says, ‘Everyone feels different’ to someone who is, demonstrably, wired differently from nearly everyone else, that atypical person goes unacknowledged.

And I’m not talking about the HSP 1 in 5; I’m talking about the extreme-HSP, Hi IQ, Hi Empath 1 in 2.000+.

 

And I really did feel different.

To the point where I felt like I was two people.

And my sense of conflict was immediate and acute every. single. day.

 

And nobody reflected that back to me.

In fact, when I talked about it, empath-me could feel where their thoughts were headed: ‘Hm, schizo much?’

So I learned not to talk about it.

Everybody has doubts,” they would say.

No.

The doubt others had wasn’t the crippling doubt I had.

And their solutions didn’t work for me.

But even people whose job it was to hear me, didn’t hear me.

 

So in the end I figured it out for myself. I began to implement specific dynamics and I began to implement the truths that I had found regarding those dynamics, and I began to see their effect on manifesting.

And over the next few years, things started to slide into place. Things began to make sense from all angles, for all parts of me.

And the second-guessing stopped.

And the doubts fell away.

 

Sure, I still have doubts. All the time. But they’re no longer crippling doubts of the ‘Damned if you do, damned if you don’t’-variety.

Slowly they morphed into the realisation that it could also be ‘Blessed if you do, blessed if you don’t, just play with it,’-variety.

 

Needless to say, life’s a lot easier these days. But, thanks to my strong rational aspect, I was aware – all the time – of what was changing and why.

I didn’t just ‘shift — and then everything was better, just trust the process, you’ll be fine!’ — which could have absolutely worked (for those other 1.999).

Instead, I kept track. I analysed and assessed: Wtf just happened here? Why did that happen? How come ‘this’? Also, if ‘that’, then why not ‘so’?

 

I stopped digging in, and I started tunnelling out, but I never stopped analysing and assessing, I just changed the energy behind it to ‘finding’ rather than ‘seeking’.

In the Dutch language, when you don’t see your car keys, you say, ‘Help me search for them’. In the English language, you say, ‘Help me find them’.

Huge difference! You can seek answers from now until eternity, but it’s finding them that matters.

 

And that’s what I do.

All the time.

I find answers.

Mostly to questions other people don’t seem to have. Which never ceases to surprise me.

 

When they do ask the question, and they find I have the answer, they are equally surprised. Like, ‘How did you know?’

And then I think: ‘Because most things are actually self-evident.’

Which isn’t entirely fair. Difficult mathematical equations may be self-evident to a savant, or to the gifted professor who made it his business to understand, but that doesn’t mean they’re self-evident to a pre-schooler, or even to the college grad who hopes never to look at maths again.

But most manifesting dynamics are self-evident to me.

Because of the underlying energetic cause and effect.

And since I use my sensitivity and empathy to assess that underlying energy, and I then extrapolate my findings based on my intuition, the resulting effect does mostly seem pretty self-evident to me.

 

Of course, when you can see the dynamics of cause and effect, you effectively see manifesting-as-it-happens.

Which is how I experience life.

I see the energies at work, and I see where the potentialities get cut off – and why.

 

I also see what’s required to adjust.

And that is where the work is.

For you, for me, for anyone, that’s where the work is: to deliberately adjust the energy behind your manifesting.

I’m still learning how to do that. Still unlearning a lifetime of conditioning.
But at this point I’ve got a lot of it, maybe even most of it sussed.

I’ve come a long way, but then, I had a long way to go.
Or at least, that’s what it felt like, because the path wasn’t there.

And now it is. My path is clear to me.
It’s not a path that is visible – but I nevertheless see it clearly.

Like the vague trail in a field left by the wind, it’s a multitude of potentials, and I walk it by being clear in my expectations.

I know what I want and I walk in that direction.

 

And no, it doesn’t constantly work out in every detail. Of course not. But I can typically see which underlying dynamic -or rather, expectation- needs tweaking to improve things.

And then I set about doing so.

Or not. I mean, at the end of the day it has to be effective and a lot of it really isn’t.

 

Where manifesting is concerned, the question is always: what will you focus on? And there’s an endless variety. Also, as Abraham-Hicks says: you’ll never get it done.
I used to think: ‘Just you wait and see!’ But these days I feel there’s freedom in that statement: “I’ll never get it done? Awesome! Then I’ll let go of ‘this’, and instead I’ll focus on ‘that’.”

 

There is one question to which the answer has so far eluded me, though.

When people ask me, “So what is it you do?”

There just never seems to be a straightforward answer to that one, 😁.

Or maybe there is:

I find answers.

Cool! You’re still here.

Nice!

Then let’s unplug, and let me share some stuff that doesn’t normally come up in your average conversation, about the path I walk.

Dani Unplugged

In a previous lifetime I studied Business Management in The Hague, and I spent a number of years working in a hotel in London. After that I had a retail store in a tiny village in the South of Spain. Then, in the year of my thirtieth birthday, my life went to pieces, and after a year or so this life began. Slowly, very slowly.

Now I’m a Triune. And a Dream Weaver.

I believe in accountability, in giving things my best shot, and I hold my thoughts and beliefs up against the light at every opportunity.

And I walk my talk.

 

And that’s what I’ll be talking about here.

Cos here’s the thing: to walk your talk you need to know who you are and what you hold true.

But… to be able to know and embrace who you are, it helps to see yourself reflected in the outside world.

For spiritual HSP-Empaths that doesn’t typically happen.

For Triunes even less.

 

A Triune is a highly sensitive and empathic person; a deep thinker who is spiritually open, and who is equally informed by all of her awareness levels.

Wonderful, right?

We must be so empowered!

Surely we have our lives totally on track!

How can we not?

Yay us, right?

Right??

 

Meh…

Cos here’s the thing… most empaths have deep wounds. And the first thing a wounded empath does, is give away her power.

I know I did.

All. the. time.

Picking up so clearly on everyone’s needs, I spent my time cleaning up after everyone – and my own dreams kept being pushed to the end of the queue.

But because of my talents (thinking things through, for starters), I could see just why people were in the mess they were in – and so I would actively try to fend things off on their behalf, because hey, I could just see the accidents waiting to happen.

 

It takes time to learn you can’t learn someone’s lesson for them…

But I got there eventually.

But until I did, I was focused on their needs, rather than my own.

I didn’t really feel I had a choice, because I perceived their pain as mine. Their discomfort was my discomfort, and their priorities were my priorities.

That’s the plight of the wounded empath.

 

I still feel the pain and the discomfort of others, and I still get triggered into wanting to solve it for them, but like I said: I can’t learn anyone’s lesson for them.

 

Things began to change for me once I began to understand myself, once I realised why I was ‘this wounded’. This began with Irene Lyon, and her work on the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). But while her work resonated deeply, I resisted the idea that I might be traumatised.

Sure, my parents had dropped the ball, but no more than most. I was just more sensitive than others, I told myself, and I probably just took the hits harder. In fact, when my mom shut down my childhood spirituality as ‘naive nonsense’, she did nothing other moms wouldn’t have done in those days. But 7-yo me internalised her response and it shut me down.

Being a Triune, having three extremely engaged awareness levels, meant that there were lots of ways in which a little HSP-Empath could be shut down.

And people did. Unwittingly, inadvertently – and incessantly.

 

But was I traumatised? Nooooo, of course not!!

My adult rational mind just wouldn’t go there.

Dysregulated, maybe. A bit. But not traumatised.

 

But from Irene Lyon I learned that the ANS can also end up severely dysregulated through surgeries, or medical mishaps – and that had definitely happened to me.

This allowed me to connect with the idea that, perhaps, I wás traumatised. You know, a little.

 

You can’t heal what you’re not looking at. And now that I began to see this wounded part of me, I could put down the whip.

But here’s the thing: what I’m effectively saying is that, until I got off my own case, I was constantly holding a whip.

Cos I was constantly falling short. On all levels.

 

Once I began to regulate my ANS, I could see the incongruity of a lot of things. First and foremost: my complete and utter lack of boundaries in every conceivable way. I also invariably put myself right in the middle of other people’s struggles (and as a result, I would often get implicated in the struggle, or even blamed for it).

The number of times I’ve put myself in the direct trajectory of ‘the accident waiting to happen’ is baffling to me in hindsight. But there you go.

 

Once I began putting down the whip, I could see myself in a new light. And for the first time I began to appreciate my sensitivity and my empathy; and I began to appreciate my extreme spiritual awareness – which had played a big role in my life for years, but which had also seemed to be at the root of my isolation, cos it’s just hard being the psychedelic sheep of the family.

But that’s not actually true. It’s not all that hard. All it takes is for you to own it for yourself. Because conviction convinces.

But that’s just it: I wasn’t convinced. I didn’t own that part of me.

And so others pushed back, trying to get me to conform. And empath-me felt their conviction and wavered all the more. “Because, really, how can someone as bright and intelligent as you are have such far-fetched ideas! Just get back to the work force and find a real job already!”

 

I began to appreciate my ‘extreme’ aspects, but my mind still said, “That’s all very well, but I’m not telling anyone about your notions. Just because you ‘know’ that the universe works ‘this way’, doesn’t mean that Í buy into it!” Yep, my own mind said that.

But my mind actually had a very valid point. It’s not that she was right in ‘not believing’, but she was right in refusing to talk about things she couldn’t fully hold true.

That’s when I realised that, as long as she couldn’t answer people’s questions and bring things ‘full circle’, I had no business talking about what I knew – because I just kept getting hurt.

 

So we (my three selves and I) explored the universe from a new perspective: that of understanding. And my mental aspect got to be as geeky as she wanted, diving in – tunnelling in, even, to the point of losing sight of the exit – until one day she connected the dots. “I get it now. And I see how, from here on in, I can understand all of it. Go ahead.”

 

What that taught me, apart from how manifesting works, was ‘dynamics’. The dynamics of belief systems and the dynamics of relationships.

It also showed me my inner Trinity and how they interacted. I began to clearly see and understand -and appreciate!- my three selves -and their needs- and I realised that having three such highly engaged selves had been the root cause of my biggest struggle all those years.

Or perhaps I should say: not having anyone acknowledge my struggle, not having anyone in my corner, helping me see what I was up against, is what most set me back all those years.

Because all I got was push back. And the empath in me aligned with the conviction behind that push back; so I tried to pursue solutions that worked for others — but which could never work for me, not even if I tried harder.

 

I had no idea who I was, because no one reflected me back, and when I said, ‘I feel different’, others would say, ‘Everyone feels different!’

And this is true. Everyone is different. No one has your unique combination of thoughts, hopes, beliefs, past experiences and current expectations. Absolutely no one.

But saying ‘Everyone feels different’ is like saying ‘All lives matter’. It is true, but it misses the point. And it misses the point in a way that deepens the wound.

Every time someone says, ‘Everyone feels different’ to someone who is, demonstrably, wired differently from nearly everyone else, that atypical person goes unacknowledged.

And I’m not talking about the HSP 1 in 5; I’m talking about the extreme-HSP, Hi IQ, Hi Empath 1 in 2.000+.

 

And I really did feel different.

To the point where I felt like I was two people.

And my sense of conflict was immediate and acute every. single. day.

 

And nobody reflected that back to me.

In fact, when I talked about it, empath-me could feel where their thoughts were headed: ‘Hm, schizo much?’

So I learned not to talk about it.

Everybody has doubts,” they would say.

No.

The doubt others had wasn’t the crippling doubt I had.

And their solutions didn’t work for me.

But even people whose job it was to hear me, didn’t hear me.

 

So in the end I figured it out for myself. I began to implement specific dynamics and I began to implement the truths that I had found regarding those dynamics, and I began to see their effect on manifesting.

And over the next few years, things started to slide into place. Things began to make sense from all angles, for all parts of me.

And the second-guessing stopped.

And the doubts fell away.

 

Sure, I still have doubts. All the time. But they’re no longer crippling doubts of the ‘Damned if you do, damned if you don’t’-variety.

Slowly they morphed into the realisation that it could also be ‘Blessed if you do, blessed if you don’t, just play with it,’-variety.

 

Needless to say, life’s a lot easier these days. But, thanks to my strong rational aspect, I was aware – all the time – of what was changing and why.

I didn’t just ‘shift — and then everything was better, just trust the process, you’ll be fine!’ — which could have absolutely worked (for those other 1.999).

Instead, I kept track. I analysed and assessed: Wtf just happened here? Why did that happen? How come ‘this’? Also, if ‘that’, then why not ‘so’?

 

I stopped digging in, and I started tunnelling out, but I never stopped analysing and assessing, I just changed the energy behind it to ‘finding’ rather than ‘seeking’.

In the Dutch language, when you don’t see your car keys, you say, ‘Help me search for them’. In the English language, you say, ‘Help me find them’.

Huge difference! You can seek answers from now until eternity, but it’s finding them that matters.

 

And that’s what I do.

All the time.

I find answers.

Mostly to questions other people don’t seem to have. Which never ceases to surprise me.

 

When they do ask the question, and they find I have the answer, they are equally surprised. Like, ‘How did you know?’

And then I think: ‘Because most things are actually self-evident.’

Which isn’t entirely fair. Difficult mathematical equations may be self-evident to a savant, or to the gifted professor who made it his business to understand, but that doesn’t mean they’re self-evident to a pre-schooler, or even to the college grad who hopes never to look at maths again.

But most manifesting dynamics are self-evident to me.

Because of the underlying energetic cause and effect.

And since I use my sensitivity and empathy to assess that underlying energy, and I then extrapolate my findings based on my intuition, the resulting effect does mostly seem pretty self-evident to me.

 

Of course, when you can see the dynamics of cause and effect, you effectively see manifesting-as-it-happens.

Which is how I experience life.

I see the energies at work, and I see where the potentialities get cut off – and why.

 

I also see what’s required to adjust.

And that is where the work is.

For you, for me, for anyone, that’s where the work is: to deliberately adjust the energy behind your manifesting.

I’m still learning how to do that. Still unlearning a lifetime of conditioning.
But at this point I’ve got a lot of it, maybe even most of it sussed.

I’ve come a long way, but then, I had a long way to go.
Or at least, that’s what it felt like, because the path wasn’t there.

And now it is. My path is clear to me.
It’s not a path that is visible – but I nevertheless see it clearly.

Like the vague trail in a field left by the wind, it’s a multitude of potentials, and I walk it by being clear in my expectations.

I know what I want and I walk in that direction.

 

And no, it doesn’t constantly work out in every detail. Of course not. But I can typically see which underlying dynamic -or rather, expectation- needs tweaking to improve things.

And then I set about doing so.

Or not. I mean, at the end of the day it has to be effective and a lot of it really isn’t.

 

Where manifesting is concerned, the question is always: what will you focus on? And there’s an endless variety. Also, as Abraham-Hicks says: you’ll never get it done.
I used to think: ‘Just you wait and see!’ But these days I feel there’s freedom in that statement: “I’ll never get it done? Awesome! Then I’ll let go of ‘this’, and instead I’ll focus on ‘that’.”

 

There is one question to which the answer has so far eluded me, though.

When people ask me, “So what is it you do?”

There just never seems to be a straightforward answer to that one, 😁.

Or maybe there is:

I find answers.

© Copyright 2024. Sovereign Empaths. All Rights Reserved.

© Copyright 2024. Sovereign Empaths. All Rights Reserved.