Chapter 1: Pierce Appears

Recently a new character appeared in my imaginary novel. His name is Pierce and he first appeared a few years ago, fairly antagonistically. He then retreated into the background from where he reemerged last year.

Learning through Boundaries

I typically use an energy like his so that I can learn to reinforce my boundaries. Since we can revisit the same situation over and over, I get a true feeling for the dynamic. I get to see what happens when I do ’this’ – and how he responds when I do ’that’.

This past month something shifted as I began to realise just what makes him respond antagonistically.

It had already become a bit of a habit that I would say something and he would scoff and walk away. But. He presented as the close and intimate friend of my most trusted guide, and to dismiss him likewise – and just get on with my life – was not really an option. I did seriously consider it, but since I was the one letting him into my awareness, I figured I might as well pay attention.

Respecting the Antagonist

Antagonism aside, I soon realised I actually quite respect him. He does things that I can only dream of. Also, he is perfectly okay with being the antagonist in someone else’s story – because he knows the truth about himself. And so he does what he wants, he goes after what he wants, and he gets what he wants.

And can you honestly say you don’t want exactly that?

I know I do!

To radiate my own being – and to achieve what I want, and to get what I want, just by standing in my truth – that’s my ultimate dream!

And Pierce was a living and breathing (if imaginary) example of exactly that. Of course I was going to pay attention.

Trialogue and the Three Selves

Now, at the heart of my writing is a technique called Trialogue – which gives a voice to each of my three selves:

• I can engage from a spiritual perspective, as Hermione.
• I can also engage as Cindy, from a more mental perspective – cos imagination is my friend.
• And then there’s Deeann, who represents the sensory heart-body.
  
• Dakota represents the full Trinity. And sometimes I’ll engage as Dani, because, why not.

I soon realised that the self most vexing to Pierce, was Deeann. As my sensory aspect, Deeann is exquisitely sensitive – and too empathic for her own good. Also, she has zero boundaries – or I should say, had, cos Pierce has been setting her straight there.

Seeing the Dynamic

As I explored the dynamic between them, I began to see that Pierce, in turn, had zero patience for exactly that lack of boundaries, and whenever Deeann, overwhelmed by everything going on in her life, collapsed into inertia, he would simply walk away. He refused to engage with her on that frequency.

At first that felt rude – almost cruel! – and unnecessarily blunt – but as a writer you have to create credible characters, and so I felt into his motivations: why would he, the best friend of my best friend, present so selfishly to someone who was running on fumes?

That’s when I realised that Pierce, appearances notwithstanding, is actually on the same awareness level as Deeann: he represents that same sensory heart-body. Except, he is on the other end of the sliding scale: boundaried, accomplished, decisive.

Paying Attention

That realisation made me pay even more attention – and I was determined to find out just why Pierce did not like Deeann.

So I asked him. Or rather, I had her ask him.

He didn’t even reply. He just shrugged and walked away. And she stared after him, wondering what she had done wrong this time.

So I took a long look at Pierce. I felt into him, scanned him, scanned everything about him – and I asked the author in me why he walked away; why he wouldn’t give Deeann the time of day. What did he so resent about her?

Opposing Truths

As I watched him walk away I suddenly realised that Deeann – my sensitive, empathic Heart-Body – wasn’t seeing Pierce. At all.

I don’t mind admitting that was a surprising turn – but his antagonism suddenly made a lot more sense: Deeann was reverberating off him – but she wasn’t truly engaging with him.

And Pierce noticed.

Deeann couldn’t engage with Pierce, because when she looked at him, instead of confidence, she saw arrogance. His decisiveness felt overbearing. And his single-minded sense of purpose, to her seemed inflexible and rigid.

And, contrary to the way we would have handled such an a discrepancy, this did not make Pierce change his story. He flatly mirrored back that she was the problem, not he – and not for a single minute did he dilute his presence to placate her, the way we ourselves invariably did.

By sticking to his own story – or, more kindly put: by remaining true to himself – he confirmed to Deeann his overbearing inflexibility – while her Self disappeared further into the background, seamlessly adjusting itself to his opinion of her: a fawning sycophant on whom he had no intention of wasting any time whatsoever.

To be continued.

Chapter 1: Pierce Appears

Recently a new character appeared in my imaginary novel. His name is Pierce and he first appeared a few years ago, fairly antagonistically. He then retreated into the background from where he reemerged last year.

Learning through Boundaries

I typically use an energy like his so that I can learn to reinforce my boundaries. Since we can revisit the same situation over and over, I get a true feeling for the dynamic. I get to see what happens when I do ’this’ – and how he responds when I do ’that’.

This past month something shifted as I began to realise just what makes him respond antagonistically.

It had already become a bit of a habit that I would say something and he would scoff and walk away. But. He presented as the close and intimate friend of my most trusted guide, and to dismiss him likewise – and just get on with my life – was not really an option.

I did seriously consider it, but since I was the one letting him into my awareness, I figured I might as well pay attention.

Respecting the Antagonist

Antagonism aside, I soon realised I actually quite respect him. He does things that I can only dream of. Also, he is perfectly okay with being the antagonist in someone else’s story – because he knows the truth about himself. And so he does what he wants, he goes after what he wants, and he gets what he wants.

And can you honestly say you don’t want exactly that?

I know I do!

To radiate my own being – and to achieve what I want, and to get what I want, just by standing in my truth – that’s my ultimate dream!

And Pierce was a living and breathing (if imaginary) example of exactly that. Of course I was going to pay attention.

Trialogue and the Three Selves

Now, at the heart of my writing is a technique called Trialogue – which gives a voice to each of my three selves:

• I can engage from a spiritual perspective, as Hermione.
• I can also engage as Cindy, from a more mental perspective – cos imagination is my friend.
• And then there’s Deeann, who represents the sensory heart-body.
  
• Dakota represents the full Trinity. And sometimes I’ll engage as Dani, because, why not.

I soon realised that the self most vexing to Pierce, was Deeann. As my sensory aspect, Deeann is exquisitely sensitive – and too empathic for her own good. Also, she has zero boundaries – or I should say, had, cos Pierce has been setting her straight there.

Seeing the Dynamic

As I explored the dynamic between them, I began to see that Pierce, in turn, had zero patience for exactly that lack of boundaries, and whenever Deeann, overwhelmed by everything going on in her life, collapsed into inertia, he would simply walk away. He refused to engage with her on that frequency.

At first that felt rude – almost cruel! – and unnecessarily blunt – but as a writer you have to create credible characters, and so I felt into his motivations: why would he, the best friend of my best friend, present so selfishly to someone who was running on fumes?

That’s when I realised that Pierce, appearances notwithstanding, is actually on the same awareness level as Deeann: he represents that same sensory heart-body. Except, he is on the other end of the sliding scale: boundaried, accomplished, decisive.

Paying Attention

That realisation made me pay even more attention – and I was determined to find out just why Pierce did not like Deeann.

So I asked him. Or rather, I had her ask him.

He didn’t even reply. He just shrugged and walked away. And she stared after him, wondering what she had done wrong this time.

So I took a long look at Pierce. I felt into him, scanned him, scanned everything about him – and I asked the author in me why he walked away; why he wouldn’t give Deeann the time of day. What did he so resent about her?

Opposing Truths

As I watched him walk away I suddenly realised that Deeann – my sensitive, empathic Heart-Body – wasn’t seeing Pierce. At all.

I don’t mind admitting that was a surprising turn – but his antagonism suddenly made a lot more sense: Deeann was reverberating off him – but she wasn’t truly engaging with him.

And Pierce noticed.

Deeann couldn’t engage with Pierce, because when she looked at him, instead of confidence, she saw arrogance. His decisiveness felt overbearing. And his single-minded sense of purpose, to her seemed inflexible and rigid.

And, contrary to the way we would have handled such an a discrepancy, this did not make Pierce change his story. He flatly mirrored back that she was the problem, not he – and not for a single minute did he dilute his presence to placate her, the way we ourselves invariably did.

By sticking to his own story – or, more kindly put: by remaining true to himself – he confirmed to Deeann his overbearing inflexibility – while her Self disappeared further into the background, seamlessly adjusting itself to his opinion of her: a fawning sycophant on whom he had no intention of wasting any time whatsoever.

To be continued.